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Huawei ban gets parodied in truly bizarre Chinese state media sketch

China’s state information company, Xinhua News, has launched a bizarre James Bond-themed parody video mocking the US and UK’s crackdown on Huawei. It actually must be seen to be believed. The English-language video was spotted by Gizmodo and has been launched each on Xinhua’s New China TV YouTube channel in addition to its China Xinhua News Twitter account, with each accounts carrying a warning about their affiliations with the Chinese state.

I imply, the place can we even begin with this video. There’s the truth that our protagonist is named James Pond, in what seems to be an unwitting reference to the series of ’90s video games based mostly on an anthropomorphic mudskipper of the identical title. Or what about the truth that one undercover agent is supposedly doing an American accent whereas the opposite is doing a British accent, even if their accents are principally similar.

Or the road “that’s bloody outrageous.”

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Screenshot: Xinhua

Or the truth that not as soon as however twice, James Pond makes use of the catchphrase “ExSQUEEZE me,” which Gizmodo factors out seems to be a reference to not James Bond however Mike Myers’ character Wayne from Wayne’s World slightly than something associated to the spy franchise this video is ostensibly parodying.

Or the truth that the video references two western leaders by title — the UK’s David Cameron and Germany’s Angela Merkel — each of whom are not in cost of their respective international locations. Cameron resigned again in 2016!

Of course, the purpose of the video is much less about attempting to make sense and extra about pushing an anti-US, pro-China narrative about Huawei. There’s a second the place a warning about China’s “National Security Agency” is revealed to really be referring to the work of the USA’s NSA (a Huawei exec used a similar attack line during 2019’s MWC) and issues about Huawei units containing safety backdoors are dismissed as a result of there’s no “shred of evidence.”

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What the video ignores is that lots of the safety issues surrounding Huawei have focussed not on backdoors which are being actively exploited however on poor cybersecurity practices that might allow a future assault. A 2019 report from the UK’s Huawei Cyber Security Evaluation Centre (HCSEC) Oversight Board, for instance, raised issues about Huawei’s “basic engineering competence and cyber security hygiene.” The parody additionally makes no point out of Huawei’s alleged function in constructing expertise for labor and reeducation camps in China’s Xinjiang area, nor the experiences about its work on a facial recognition system to surveil Uighurs.

After a number of years of sanctions which have prevented it from buying a lot of the software program and {hardware} it must make trendy units, Huawei’s shopper enterprise is in a sorry state. Its newest flagship, the P50 Pro, is but to launch outdoors of China, and even there, it launched as a 4G-only gadget. In China, Huawei has fallen behind competitors like Vivo and Oppo in phrases of smartphone gross sales after beforehand having outsold them in its house market.

Anyway, none of that’s actually vital in the context of this parody, which I promise you continue to makes zero sense even for those who’re fully updated on the Huawei state of affairs. Just sit again and let the fever dream wash over you.

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